We have all experienced or know someone who has experience significant loss. Especially lately. When we lose big stuff in our life – job, money, house – we often end up asking ourselves “Who am I?” We invariably grow to identify our “self” with our accomplishments and possessions and when we lose them we can experience some form of disorientation. It’s hard to not associate “net worth” with “self worth.” But as we move beyond the initial stress of loss we enter a period of inventorying our personal resources and re-assessing our own value.
When things are going well we don’t often ask ourselves the important questions – and there are many. But one question you should definitely consider asking yourself (and repeatedly throughout your life) is “Who am I?”
We all have many roles in your life – father, mother, son, boss, employee, teacher, friend – so we’re actually many things. But the question we’re really trying to answer is “What is my unique value?” This is not a question that you can answer in one sitting, but I’m going to offer up one possible starting place.
I started my young academic career with my sight set on composing film scores. While this is not the ultimate direction my life took, I’ve always maintained my interest and passion for music. Not long ago I watched a television special with the great American composer and conductor Leonard Bernstein. As he discussed his work as a composer he went to the piano and plunked a single note. “A single note doesn’t say anything,” he said, “but when we follow it with a second note we’re creating a phrase and from that we can begin to derive meaning.”
As we attempt to answer the question “What is my unique value?” we need at least two (or more) notes. Once we have these notes it’s the intersection of the notes that begin to expresses your unique song. For example you might say that you enjoy cooking. You might then say that you have a passion for the outdoors and hiking and camping. You also might have some experience in teaching. A lot of people enjoy cooking. And a lot of people enjoy the outdoors. There are also a lot of people who are teachers of various sort. But there are far, far fewer people who represent the convergence of cooking, a passion for the outdoors and teaching skills.
Each of these individual interests, talents and experiences on their own are merely notes. But combined they form your song. The person in our example may be uniquely qualified for and passionate about writing a book, starting a website and teaching and lecturing on outdoor cooking. Nowadays when people are looking for less expensive ways to have fun this has a very large potential audience as well!
Is there a lot of sweat and work to live your dreams? Of course. But the good news is that when you’re passionate about something it doesn’t seem like work. Retirement isn’t even a question because it’s doing something you would never even consider retiring from.
Try taking an inventory of things you are passionate about, things you enjoy and valuable experiences you have had in your life. Where these things converge you may just begin to appreciate the unique lens through which only you can show us the world.
Very helpful. I’m restarting my life again at 42 after losing my job in an industry tanked by the recession. I’ve been asking myself exactly this question, “Who am I?” Starting a new career again is a chance to do it better this time but it’s scary. This idea of finding my “unique lens” on the world at the convergence of my interests and experiences I think will really help me see and define my unique value.